Feel your feelings. (Wow, I’ve never heard THAT before!)
Sure, it’s definitely a cliche, but stick with me.
Do you like freedom? FREEDOM!! (Murica)
Well, mindfulness of current emotions is your path to emotional freedom. (Seriously!?)
I get it, though. If you’re wondering, ‘What the hell even is this!? ‘ You’re not the first person.
So, I’m going to SIMPLY describe this skill, how it helps you, and even how you can practice it.
Let’s do it.
Table of Contents
What is mindfulness of current emotions?
Mindfulness of current emotions is when you observe and describe your emotions, i.e., when you’re mindful of your emotions and feelings. It’s when you feel your feelings. (Wow, that’s never been said before!)
It’s when your attention is not on your thoughts but on your emotions.
You’re aware of your emotions and feelings, and you’re labeling them. But you’re not being pulled into only FEELING them.
You ask, ‘How am I feeling right now?’ and then you observe. After you’ve observed, you describe or label what you’re feeling.
When you do that, you don’t tap into the emotion’s content; you actually create space to step away from it. You’re aware of your feelings rather than just reacting blindly to them.
Mindfulness of current emotions is part of the distress tolerance skills taught in dialectical behavior therapy (DBT). The aim is to help with emotion regulation. It’s a core part of tolerating stressful and distressing situations, but it’s also super valuable to practice daily as part of mindfulness skills.
How does it help you?
It helps you to accept (and, at times, reduce) the suffering caused by interpreting emotions and reading into their content.
It teaches you how to effectively let go of your emotions, not shunning them or pushing them away. It teaches you to feel your emotions come and go rather than try to fight them and tell yourself, ‘I shouldn’t feel this way’.
So, rather than getting caught in the current emotion and reacting to it, you see the emotion for what it is – a chemical reaction in your brain causing you to feel a certain way.
That way, you’re unchained from the emotion and have control. (I’M FREE!)
You learn that emotions are like waves. (That’s not a cliche at all.)
Waves have a crest or a peak, and then they crash afterwards. They diminish.
Emotions and feelings are EXACTLY the same. [1]
Ok, so why would I bother doing this?
Why it’s valuable
Well, seeing as how you asked so nicely 🙂
It teaches you to accept your emotions. Accepting them teaches you to tolerate them because you see them differently.
When you allow yourself to feel your emotions, you get used to them. They are less scary and more familiar, and they have less control over you.
If you try to get rid of an emotion, it strengthens it. So, if you don’t fight it and instead just observe and label it, you realize that you actually can stand it.
It also helps with rumination – where you go over a distressing situation in your head again and again.
‘Why did he say that to me? What did he really mean? Why did she look at me that way?’
Kind of like that washing machine that’s on a constant spin cycle.
So, when you practise mindfulness of current emotions, you label the emotion after observing it and ask, “Where did that come from?”
You avoid questioning the content. You look at the emotion for what it is—an emotion you’re feeling. You don’t take the emotion and run with it.
Mindfulness of current thoughts helps you step back and create space from that current emotion.
It’s incredibly valuable mostly because it helps you regulate your emotions and your feelings more effectively.
Okay, enough already, I get it. How do I practise this beautiful skill?
How to practice it
Let’s step through this bit by bit.
We’ll examine your feelings and emotions, ways to label them, and ways to ask yourself questions about them.
Ready to go? Let’s do it.
Observe Your Feelings & Emotions
The first way to practice this is by setting aside time to do it alone.
So grab a seat, ground yourself and take a moment to settle down.
Think about your breathing. Just notice your breathing as you breathe in and out. Notice the sensations in your stomach as it inflates and deflates.
Now, notice your feelings, your emotions.
What do they feel like? Try to name the emotion.
What is it? What word best describes what you’re feeling? Remember to accept the emotion. It’s okay, it’s normal.
Try not to condone or judge the emotion. Just let it move through you. Don’t resist it, push against it, or even encourage it.
Now, think about the emotion.
How intense is it?
What are you feeling in your body?
Where do you feel it?
Do you notice any muscle tension?
What’s the expression on your face? What does your face feel like?
- Do any thoughts or judgements come to mind? Notice those thoughts. Allow them to go into your mind but also allow them to pass.
If you’re struggling, bring your attention back to your breathing and the sensations the emotion brings to your body.
Something else to try:
Imagine you’re on a bridge, and your thoughts and emotions flow along the river below you. You can see them coming and going.
They pass under the bridge one by one. You acknowledge that they’re there but don’t try to hold onto or push them away.
How does that feel now?
If you’re anything like me, then maybe it’s a little bit difficult to describe your feelings or emotions (I blame the internet!). So here are a few suggestions of different feelings and emotions [2] that we all regularly feel:
Anger,
fear,
disgust,
happiness,
sadness,
surprise,
anxiety,
love,
depression,
contempt,
pride,
shame,
envy.
Okay, that’s the first part of the exercise. The next part is understanding how your body reacts to your emotions.
Be Curious about Your Body Sensations
This is the part where you ask questions about where you’re feeling an emotional sensation in your body.
How does it feel in your stomach? What about your hands? What about the top of your head? What thoughts do you have that go along with these feelings and emotions?
Ask yourself, ‘Are these thoughts and feelings trying to avoid certain sensations?‘
But remember, don’t judge your thoughts or emotions. Just let them come and go as if they’re on that river floating below you on the bridge.
Let’s take an example from the list above. Let’s use shame as an example.
Think about how that exhibits itself.
Do you feel something in the pit of your stomach?
Are your shoulders down?
How do your muscles feel?
Are your palms sweaty?
By setting aside time to practice this alone, you’ll find that when a tough situation comes up, you almost automatically turn to this because you’re so used to doing it.
Closing Thoughts
Okay, I’ll level with you. Just because you practice this skill doesn’t mean you won’t feel sadness, anger, fear or shame anymore.
But it will help reduce the suffering that some of these emotions bring.
This isn’t easy and requires a lot of practice, but let me tell you, it’s so worth it.
Try doing this once every 2 or 3 days. The important thing is to be consistent.
I know you’re doing your best. Just keep up the excellent work.
As always, if you have any thoughts, questions, comments or concerns, please do let me know. I’m here to help as much as possible.
I recommend you check out mindfulness of current thoughts to round out this part of distress tolerance.
Or you could look at self-soothing for a list of the BEST ways to calm the farm when stressed.
References
- 1 – https://www.edsurge.com/news/2022-10-06-emotions-come-and-go-in-waves-we-can-teach-our-students-how-to-surf-them
- 2 – https://www.healthline.com/health/list-of-emotions
