General Instructions for Therapists
As you guide clients through these “Burning Bridges” activities, the goal is to help them identify and eliminate harmful or destructive behaviors and relationships. This skill encourages clients to make a firm decision to end unhealthy patterns and create a clear separation between themselves and the past. Burning bridges is about committing to no longer engaging with harmful influences.
In group settings, remind participants that these activities are designed to help them release behaviors, thoughts, or connections that no longer serve them. It’s a deliberate process of letting go to protect their mental and emotional well-being.
General Instructions for Clients
Today’s activities focus on practicing the skill of Burning Bridges—letting go of harmful behaviors or relationships and making a firm commitment not to return to them. Whether it’s ending a toxic relationship, stopping a destructive behavior, or cutting ties with past habits, Burning Bridges is about creating a clear break so you can move forward in a healthier way.
These exercises will help you recognize what needs to be let go of and take practical steps to make that separation. After each exercise, we’ll reflect on how it felt to let go of something harmful and how it can benefit you in the long run.
Table of Contents
What is the Burning Bridges Skill in DBT?
The Burning Bridges skill in Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) involves making a deliberate and firm decision to cut ties with harmful behaviors, patterns, or relationships. This skill is about recognizing when something or someone is harmful to your well-being and taking steps to permanently separate from them. Burning bridges means no longer engaging with what’s hurting you, so you can protect yourself and create space for healing and growth.
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15 Burning Bridges Activities
Activity 1: Identifying Harmful Patterns
Intro to activity:
This activity helps clients identify harmful behaviors or patterns in their life that they need to let go of, preparing them to burn those bridges and move forward.
How to practice this activity:
Prompt:
“Today we’re going to focus on identifying harmful patterns in your life. The goal is to recognize behaviors, habits, or thoughts that are holding you back and that need to be released.”
Preparation:
The therapist asks clients to reflect on their behaviors, relationships, or thoughts that feel destructive or unhealthy. Clients are invited to list these patterns.
Guidance:
Therapist says: “As you reflect on your life, think about the patterns or habits that are causing harm. Whether it’s a behavior that hurts you emotionally, mentally, or physically, or a relationship that brings negativity, write down what needs to be burned away.”
Experience:
Clients spend 5-10 minutes identifying harmful patterns and writing them down. The therapist encourages them to be honest and open about what no longer serves them.
Observation:
Clients reflect on how they felt while identifying harmful patterns. Were they able to recognize what needs to be let go?
Discussion:
After the activity, the therapist asks: “What did it feel like to identify harmful patterns in your life? Did it help you see what needs to change?”
Reflection:
Reflect on how recognizing harmful patterns is the first step to making positive changes. In a group, the therapist might ask: “How could identifying these patterns help you feel more in control of your future?”
Activity 2: Writing a Letter to End a Toxic Relationship
Intro to activity:
This activity invites clients to write a letter that expresses their intention to end a toxic relationship, helping them take the first step toward burning that bridge.
How to practice this activity:
Prompt:
“We’re going to write a letter today to someone you need to let go of. The goal is to express your reasons for ending the relationship and committing to not re-engaging with that person.”
Preparation:
The therapist provides clients with paper and pens. Clients are invited to think of someone in their life—a friend, family member, or partner—who brings negativity or harm.
Guidance:
Therapist says: “As you write, explain why you’re choosing to end the relationship. Be honest about how the relationship has hurt you, and state your decision to move on without them. You don’t have to send this letter, but writing it helps you make the commitment to burn this bridge.”
Experience:
Clients spend 10-15 minutes writing their letter, focusing on releasing the negative relationship and creating a sense of closure. The therapist encourages them to express their feelings fully.
Observation:
Clients reflect on how they felt while writing the letter. Were they able to express why they need to end the relationship and feel a sense of relief?
Discussion:
After the activity, the therapist asks: “What did it feel like to write a letter to end a toxic relationship? Did expressing your feelings on paper help you feel more confident in letting go?”
Reflection:
Reflect on how writing a letter can help you gain closure and commit to burning bridges with harmful people. In a group, the therapist might ask: “How could expressing yourself in writing help you create healthy boundaries and protect your well-being?”
Activity 3: Letting Go of Destructive Habits
Intro to activity:
This activity focuses on identifying and releasing self-destructive habits that clients may be holding onto, preparing them to burn bridges with those behaviors.
How to practice this activity:
Prompt:
“We’re going to focus on letting go of destructive habits today. The goal is to recognize harmful behaviors you engage in and make a firm commitment to leave them behind.”
Preparation:
The therapist asks clients to think about their destructive habits—whether it’s self-harm, substance abuse, or unhealthy coping mechanisms. Clients are encouraged to reflect on how these habits have impacted their lives.
Guidance:
Therapist says: “As you reflect on your habits, think about the harm they’ve caused and why it’s important to let go of them. Write down your commitment to stop engaging in these behaviors and how you’ll protect yourself from returning to them.”
Experience:
Clients spend 5-10 minutes reflecting and writing about their destructive habits. The therapist encourages them to acknowledge the harm caused and to commit to burning those bridges.
Observation:
Clients reflect on how they felt while recognizing destructive habits. Were they able to make a commitment to let go of those behaviors and protect their well-being?
Discussion:
After the activity, the therapist asks: “What did it feel like to acknowledge your destructive habits and commit to letting them go? Did it help you feel more empowered to make positive changes?”
Reflection:
Reflect on how letting go of destructive habits can lead to healthier coping strategies. In a group, the therapist might ask: “How could burning bridges with harmful habits help you feel more in control of your life?”
Activity 4: Creating a Ritual for Burning Bridges
Intro to activity:
This activity encourages clients to create a personal ritual that symbolizes burning bridges with harmful behaviors, thoughts, or relationships, giving them a physical and emotional sense of closure.
How to practice this activity:
Prompt:
“We’re going to create a ritual today that symbolizes burning bridges. The goal is to perform an act that represents your decision to let go of something harmful.”
Preparation:
The therapist asks clients to think about a physical object or symbolic action they can use to represent letting go of a harmful behavior or relationship. This could be writing a list, drawing a picture, or finding a small object that holds meaning.
Guidance:
Therapist says: “As you perform your ritual—whether it’s tearing up a piece of paper, burning a list (safely), or throwing away an object—focus on the act of letting go. Allow yourself to feel the sense of release and freedom from what no longer serves you.”
Experience:
Clients spend 10-15 minutes performing their ritual, using physical actions to symbolize burning bridges with past behaviors or relationships. The therapist reminds them to stay focused on the meaning of the ritual.
Observation:
Clients reflect on how they felt during the ritual. Did the physical act help them feel more connected to the process of letting go?
Discussion:
After the activity, the therapist asks: “What did it feel like to perform a ritual of letting go? Did the act of physically releasing something make it easier to burn that bridge emotionally?”
Reflection:
Reflect on how creating a personal ritual can help you make a strong commitment to letting go of the past. In a group, the therapist might ask: “How could performing a ritual help you emotionally detach from harmful patterns or people?”
Activity 5: Visualizing Burning Bridges
Intro to activity:
This activity invites clients to visualize themselves burning a bridge with a harmful behavior, thought, or relationship, helping them mentally and emotionally prepare for letting go.
How to practice this activity:
Prompt:
“We’re going to practice a visualization today where you’ll mentally burn a bridge with something harmful in your life. The goal is to picture yourself letting go and moving forward without that negative influence.”
Preparation:
The therapist asks clients to sit comfortably and close their eyes. Clients are encouraged to think about a behavior, thought, or relationship they want to let go of.
Guidance:
Therapist says: “As you visualize, picture a bridge connecting you to the harmful thing in your life. Now imagine yourself walking away from it, and as you turn your back, the bridge burns behind you. See the flames destroy the connection, leaving you free to move forward.”
Experience:
Clients spend 5-10 minutes visualizing the bridge burning, focusing on the feeling of freedom and closure as they mentally let go. The therapist encourages them to stay present with the image of the bridge disappearing.
Observation:
Clients reflect on how they felt during the visualization. Were they able to fully picture themselves burning the bridge and moving forward without regret?
Discussion:
After the activity, the therapist asks: “What did it feel like to visualize yourself burning a bridge with something harmful? Did the mental image help you feel more committed to letting go?”
Reflection:
Reflect on how visualizing the act of burning bridges can help you feel more confident in your decision to let go. In a group, the therapist might ask: “How could visualization help you mentally prepare to leave behind harmful influences?”
Activity 6: Breaking Ties with Negative Thoughts
Intro to activity:
This activity helps clients break ties with recurring negative thoughts by committing to stop engaging with them and cutting off their influence over their mindset.
How to practice this activity:
Prompt:
“We’re going to focus on breaking ties with negative thoughts today. The goal is to identify the harmful thoughts that keep coming up and make a commitment to stop giving them power over you.”
Preparation:
The therapist asks clients to reflect on the recurring negative thoughts that often affect their mood or decisions. Clients are encouraged to identify the specific thoughts they need to break ties with.
Guidance:
Therapist says: “As you reflect on these negative thoughts, imagine cutting off the connection between you and those thoughts. Write down a list of the thoughts you no longer want to entertain, and commit to breaking ties with them. Burn that mental bridge.”
Experience:
Clients spend 5-10 minutes reflecting on their negative thoughts and writing them down. The therapist encourages them to visualize breaking the connection to those thoughts, making a mental and emotional commitment.
Observation:
Clients reflect on how they felt while identifying and breaking ties with negative thoughts. Were they able to make a commitment to stop giving those thoughts influence over their emotions?
Discussion:
After the activity, the therapist asks: “What did it feel like to commit to breaking ties with negative thoughts? Did it help you feel more in control of your mindset?”
Reflection:
Reflect on how breaking ties with negative thoughts can help you create a healthier, more positive mindset. In a group, the therapist might ask: “How could burning bridges with harmful thoughts improve your mental well-being?”
Activity 7: Cutting Off Access to Temptations
Intro to activity:
This activity encourages clients to burn bridges with temptations by cutting off access to harmful influences, such as certain environments, people, or triggers.
How to practice this activity:
Prompt:
“Today we’re going to focus on cutting off access to temptations. The goal is to identify the things that tempt you to engage in harmful behaviors and make a plan to avoid them.”
Preparation:
The therapist asks clients to think about the environments, people, or objects that tempt them to engage in destructive behaviors, whether it’s substance use, unhealthy eating, or other harmful actions.
Guidance:
Therapist says: “As you think about what tempts you, make a plan to cut off access to these influences. Whether it’s avoiding certain places, blocking contacts, or removing objects, decide how you can burn those bridges and remove temptation from your life.”
Experience:
Clients spend 5-10 minutes identifying temptations and creating a plan to avoid them. The therapist encourages them to commit to burning those bridges by taking concrete steps to remove access.
Observation:
Clients reflect on how they felt while making a plan to cut off access to temptations. Were they able to create a practical strategy to avoid harmful influences?
Discussion:
After the activity, the therapist asks: “What did it feel like to make a plan to avoid temptations? Did burning those bridges help you feel more secure in your ability to make healthier choices?”
Reflection:
Reflect on how cutting off access to temptations can help you stay focused on positive behaviors. In a group, the therapist might ask: “How could removing harmful influences make it easier for you to maintain healthy habits?”
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Activity 8: Saying Goodbye to Unhealthy Friendships
Intro to activity:
This activity helps clients prepare to say goodbye to unhealthy friendships by reflecting on how these relationships are holding them back and making a decision to move on.
How to practice this activity:
Prompt:
“Today we’re going to focus on letting go of unhealthy friendships. The goal is to reflect on how certain relationships are holding you back and prepare to move on.”
Preparation:
The therapist asks clients to think about any friendships or social connections that are no longer serving them, particularly those that bring negativity, pressure, or harm. Clients are encouraged to reflect on the impact these friendships have on their well-being.
Guidance:
Therapist says: “As you reflect on these friendships, notice how they make you feel—whether they lift you up or bring you down. If they are toxic or unhealthy, make a plan to let go of these connections. Write down why you’re choosing to move on and how it will benefit you.”
Experience:
Clients spend 5-10 minutes reflecting on unhealthy friendships and writing down their reasons for moving on. The therapist encourages them to commit to letting go and burning that bridge.
Observation:
Clients reflect on how they felt while preparing to say goodbye to unhealthy friendships. Were they able to see how letting go of these relationships could benefit their mental and emotional health?
Discussion:
After the activity, the therapist asks: “What did it feel like to reflect on unhealthy friendships and prepare to say goodbye? Did it help you feel more empowered to move on?”
Reflection:
Reflect on how letting go of toxic friendships can create space for healthier connections. In a group, the therapist might ask: “How could burning bridges with harmful friendships improve your emotional well-being?”
Activity 9: Cutting Ties with Past Regrets
Intro to activity:
This activity focuses on helping clients cut ties with past regrets, making a conscious decision to stop dwelling on past mistakes and burning that bridge to the past.
How to practice this activity:
Prompt:
“We’re going to focus on cutting ties with past regrets today. The goal is to recognize how holding onto regrets is affecting you and make a commitment to let them go.”
Preparation:
The therapist asks clients to reflect on regrets they continue to dwell on, whether it’s a mistake, missed opportunity, or decision they wish they had made differently. Clients are encouraged to consider how these regrets affect their current life.
Guidance:
Therapist says: “As you reflect on your regrets, notice how they are holding you back or causing pain. Write down the regrets you want to cut ties with and make a commitment to stop dwelling on them. Visualize yourself burning that bridge and moving forward without regret.”
Experience:
Clients spend 5-10 minutes reflecting on their regrets and writing them down. The therapist encourages them to visualize cutting ties with those regrets and focusing on the future.
Observation:
Clients reflect on how they felt while cutting ties with past regrets. Were they able to make a commitment to stop holding onto past mistakes and focus on moving forward?
Discussion:
After the activity, the therapist asks: “What did it feel like to cut ties with past regrets? Did burning that bridge help you feel more free to focus on the present and future?”
Reflection:
Reflect on how letting go of regrets can help you live more fully in the present. In a group, the therapist might ask: “How could cutting ties with the past allow you to focus more on your current opportunities?”
Activity 10: Disconnecting from Harmful Social Media
Intro to activity:
This activity encourages clients to disconnect from social media platforms or accounts that trigger negative emotions or harmful behaviors, helping them burn bridges with toxic online influences.
How to practice this activity:
Prompt:
“We’re going to focus on disconnecting from harmful social media today. The goal is to identify which platforms or accounts trigger negativity and commit to disconnecting from them.”
Preparation:
The therapist asks clients to reflect on their use of social media and identify accounts, platforms, or content that causes stress, comparison, or negative emotions. Clients are encouraged to decide which accounts they want to unfollow, mute, or delete.
Guidance:
Therapist says: “As you reflect on your social media usage, notice how certain accounts or platforms make you feel. If they trigger negativity or stress, make a decision to unfollow or disconnect from them. Write down a list of what you’re letting go of and how it will benefit your well-being.”
Experience:
Clients spend 5-10 minutes identifying harmful social media influences and writing down their plan to disconnect. The therapist encourages them to commit to burning bridges with these online sources of negativity.
Observation:
Clients reflect on how they felt while deciding to disconnect from harmful social media. Were they able to see how letting go of these influences could positively affect their mental health?
Discussion:
After the activity, the therapist asks: “What did it feel like to decide to disconnect from toxic social media accounts? Did burning that bridge help you feel more in control of your digital environment?”
Reflection:
Reflect on how reducing exposure to negative social media content can improve your mental health. In a group, the therapist might ask: “How could disconnecting from toxic online influences help you feel more positive about yourself and your life?”
Activity 11: Closing the Door on Past Behaviors
Intro to activity:
This activity helps clients close the door on past behaviors that no longer align with who they want to be, making a firm commitment to leave those behaviors behind.
How to practice this activity:
Prompt:
“We’re going to focus on closing the door on past behaviors today. The goal is to recognize behaviors from your past that no longer serve you and commit to leaving them behind.”
Preparation:
The therapist asks clients to think about past behaviors or habits that they’ve outgrown or that no longer align with their current goals. Clients are invited to reflect on why it’s important to let go of those behaviors.
Guidance:
Therapist says: “As you think about the behaviors you want to leave behind, write them down and reflect on why they no longer serve you. Make a commitment to close the door on these behaviors and move forward without them.”
Experience:
Clients spend 5-10 minutes writing about the past behaviors they are ready to leave behind and their reasons for letting go. The therapist encourages them to make a firm commitment to burning bridges with those behaviors.
Observation:
Clients reflect on how they felt while closing the door on past behaviors. Were they able to commit to moving forward and leaving those habits behind?
Discussion:
After the activity, the therapist asks: “What did it feel like to commit to closing the door on past behaviors? Did it help you feel more aligned with your current goals?”
Reflection:
Reflect on how closing the door on the past can help you stay focused on the future. In a group, the therapist might ask: “How could leaving behind old behaviors make it easier for you to stay committed to personal growth?”
Activity 12: Burning Bridges with Toxic Work Environments
Intro to activity:
This activity helps clients mentally and emotionally prepare to leave toxic work environments, focusing on the benefits of burning bridges with a harmful job or workplace.
How to practice this activity:
Prompt:
“Today we’re going to focus on burning bridges with toxic work environments. The goal is to reflect on how a harmful job or workplace is affecting you and make a plan to leave or create healthier boundaries.”
Preparation:
The therapist asks clients to reflect on their current or past work environments, particularly those that feel toxic, stressful, or emotionally draining. Clients are encouraged to think about how their job impacts their well-being.
Guidance:
Therapist says: “As you reflect on your work environment, notice how it affects your mental and emotional health. If it feels harmful, write down your plan to leave or create boundaries. Burning this bridge could open up space for healthier opportunities.”
Experience:
Clients spend 5-10 minutes writing about their toxic work environment and creating a plan to either leave the job or set strong boundaries. The therapist encourages them to focus on how burning that bridge could lead to more positive work experiences.
Observation:
Clients reflect on how they felt while making a plan to leave or set boundaries in a toxic work environment. Were they able to see the benefits of moving away from harmful job situations?
Discussion:
After the activity, the therapist asks: “What did it feel like to make a plan to leave or set boundaries in a toxic workplace? Did burning that bridge help you feel more hopeful about your future work opportunities?”
Reflection:
Reflect on how leaving toxic work environments can improve your well-being. In a group, the therapist might ask: “How could burning bridges with harmful work situations help you find healthier, more fulfilling job opportunities?”
Activity 13: Detaching from Past Identities
Intro to activity:
This activity encourages clients to detach from past identities or roles that no longer fit who they are today, helping them burn bridges with outdated self-concepts.
How to practice this activity:
Prompt:
“We’re going to focus on detaching from past identities today. The goal is to recognize the roles or identities you once held that no longer fit who you are and commit to letting go of them.”
Preparation:
The therapist asks clients to reflect on past identities or roles they have played, whether it’s a label someone gave them or a role they took on that no longer fits their current self.
Guidance:
Therapist says: “As you think about the identities or labels you’ve held, notice how they no longer reflect who you are today. Write down the roles or identities you’re ready to leave behind and commit to burning that bridge, allowing yourself to grow into your current self.”
Experience:
Clients spend 5-10 minutes writing about the past identities they are ready to let go of and reflecting on their reasons for doing so. The therapist encourages them to commit to moving forward without being tied to outdated labels.
Observation:
Clients reflect on how they felt while detaching from past identities. Were they able to let go of outdated roles and embrace who they are today?
Discussion:
After the activity, the therapist asks: “What did it feel like to detach from past identities or roles? Did burning that bridge help you feel more authentic in your current self?”
Reflection:
Reflect on how letting go of past identities can help you grow. In a group, the therapist might ask: “How could detaching from outdated roles or labels help you feel more free to embrace new opportunities?”
Activity 14: Releasing Old Goals
Intro to activity:
This activity helps clients burn bridges with old goals or ambitions that no longer align with their current values, creating space for new goals that reflect who they are today.
How to practice this activity:
Prompt:
“Today we’re going to focus on releasing old goals. The goal is to reflect on ambitions or plans you had in the past that no longer fit your current values or desires and commit to letting them go.”
Preparation:
The therapist asks clients to think about old goals or ambitions they once pursued but that no longer resonate with who they are. Clients are invited to reflect on how their values or desires have changed.
Guidance:
Therapist says: “As you think about your old goals, notice how they no longer align with your current values. Write down the goals or plans you’re ready to release and commit to creating space for new goals that fit your present self.”
Experience:
Clients spend 5-10 minutes writing about their old goals and reflecting on their decision to let them go. The therapist encourages them to burn that bridge, leaving behind outdated ambitions.
Observation:
Clients reflect on how they felt while releasing old goals. Were they able to see how letting go of past ambitions could create space for new, more relevant goals?
Discussion:
After the activity, the therapist asks: “What did it feel like to let go of old goals that no longer fit your values? Did burning that bridge help you feel more open to new possibilities?”
Reflection:
Reflect on how letting go of outdated goals can help you focus on what’s important today. In a group, the therapist might ask: “How could releasing old goals help you pursue new ambitions that better align with who you are now?”
Activity 15: Forgiving Yourself and Moving On
Intro to activity:
This activity encourages clients to burn the bridge to self-blame and guilt by practicing self-forgiveness, helping them move forward with compassion and acceptance.
How to practice this activity:
Prompt:
“Today we’re going to practice self-forgiveness. The goal is to burn the bridge to self-blame and guilt by letting go of past mistakes and moving forward with compassion.”
Preparation:
The therapist asks clients to reflect on past mistakes or actions they feel guilty about. Clients are encouraged to focus on the impact of holding onto guilt and how self-forgiveness could help them move forward.
Guidance:
Therapist says: “As you think about your past mistakes, notice how guilt or self-blame is affecting you. Write down what you’re ready to forgive yourself for and commit to burning that bridge to self-blame. Focus on moving forward with self-compassion.”
Experience:
Clients spend 5-10 minutes reflecting on their past mistakes and writing down their commitment to self-forgiveness. The therapist encourages them to practice letting go of guilt and moving forward with kindness.
Observation:
Clients reflect on how they felt while practicing self-forgiveness. Were they able to let go of guilt and embrace a more compassionate view of themselves?
Discussion:
After the activity, the therapist asks: “What did it feel like to forgive yourself? Did burning the bridge to self-blame help you feel more at peace with your past?”
Reflection:
Reflect on how practicing self-forgiveness can help you move forward with acceptance and self-love. In a group, the therapist might ask: “How could forgiving yourself for past mistakes help you create a more compassionate relationship with yourself?”
