15 Easy DBT GIVE Group Activities

General Instructions for Therapists

As you guide clients through the “GIVE” activities, the goal is to help them practice maintaining healthy, respectful, and balanced relationships. GIVE stands for Gentle, Interested, Validate, and Easy-going. Each activity will focus on using these aspects of the skill to communicate in a way that nurtures positive interactions with others.

General Instructions for Clients

Today’s activities focus on practicing the “GIVE” skill. The goal is to learn how to communicate in a way that strengthens your relationships by being gentle, showing interest, validating others, and staying easy-going. These exercises will guide you through different ways to use GIVE to build healthy, respectful relationships.

What is the GIVE Skill in DBT?

The GIVE skill in Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) is a strategy for maintaining healthy relationships by focusing on how you communicate. GIVE stands for Gentle, Interested, Validate, and Easy-going. By practicing these steps, you can maintain positive interactions, show that you care, and handle conflicts with kindness and respect, ultimately nurturing stronger connections with others.

15 GIVE Skill Activities

Activity 1: Practicing Gentle Communication

Intro to activity:
This activity helps clients practice using gentle communication to express their needs and feelings without being harsh or confrontational. By focusing on a calm and gentle approach, clients can maintain respect and kindness in their interactions.

How to practice this activity:

Prompt:
“We’re going to focus on practicing gentle communication. The goal is to express yourself in a calm, respectful way that helps maintain positive relationships.”

Preparation:
The therapist asks clients to think about a recent conversation where they felt angry or frustrated. Clients are encouraged to reflect on how they expressed their feelings and whether they could have been gentler in their approach.

Guidance:
Therapist says: “Think about a time when you felt frustrated or angry during a conversation. Now, practice how you could have communicated your feelings more gently. Focus on using calm language, avoiding harsh or accusatory statements, and maintaining respect for the other person.”

Experience:
Clients spend 5-10 minutes rehearsing a conversation where they express their feelings gently. The therapist encourages them to focus on their tone of voice, choice of words, and body language to ensure they remain calm and respectful.

Observation:
Clients reflect on how they felt after practicing gentle communication. Did focusing on a gentle approach help them feel more in control and less confrontational?

Discussion:
After the activity, the therapist asks: “What did it feel like to practice gentle communication? Did this practice help you express yourself in a more respectful and effective way?”

Reflection:
Reflect on how using gentle communication can help you maintain healthy relationships. In a group, the therapist might ask: “How could practicing this skill help you handle difficult conversations more calmly and respectfully?”

Activity 2: Showing Interest in Others

Intro to activity:
This activity helps clients practice showing genuine interest in others during conversations. By actively listening and asking questions, clients can strengthen relationships and make others feel heard and valued.

How to practice this activity:

Prompt:
“We’re going to focus on showing interest in others during conversations. The goal is to listen actively and ask questions that show you care about the other person’s thoughts and feelings.”

Preparation:
The therapist asks clients to think about a recent conversation where they were distracted or didn’t fully engage. Clients are encouraged to reflect on how showing more interest could have improved the interaction.

Guidance:
Therapist says: “Think about a conversation where you didn’t fully engage or show much interest. Now, practice how you could have shown more interest by listening actively, making eye contact, and asking open-ended questions. Showing interest helps the other person feel valued and heard, which strengthens your connection.”

Experience:
Clients spend 5-10 minutes practicing showing interest in a conversation. The therapist encourages them to focus on listening carefully, responding thoughtfully, and asking questions that show genuine curiosity about the other person’s feelings and experiences.

Observation:
Clients reflect on how they felt after practicing showing interest in others. Did focusing on active listening help them feel more connected to the other person?

Discussion:
After the activity, the therapist asks: “What did it feel like to show more interest in a conversation? Did this practice help you feel more engaged and connected?”

Reflection:
Reflect on how showing interest in others can help strengthen relationships. In a group, the therapist might ask: “How could practicing this skill help you build deeper, more meaningful connections with others?”

Activity 3: Practicing Validation

Intro to activity:
This activity helps clients practice validating the feelings and experiences of others, even when they don’t agree. Validation helps create a safe space for communication and fosters mutual respect.

How to practice this activity:

Prompt:
“We’re going to focus on practicing validation. The goal is to acknowledge the other person’s feelings and experiences, even if you don’t fully agree with them.”

Preparation:
The therapist asks clients to think about a recent situation where they disagreed with someone but didn’t acknowledge the other person’s feelings. Clients are encouraged to reflect on how validation could have improved the interaction.

Guidance:
Therapist says: “Think about a time when you disagreed with someone and didn’t validate their feelings. Now, practice how you could have validated them by acknowledging their emotions and showing that you understand where they’re coming from. Validation doesn’t mean agreeing—it means recognizing that the other person’s feelings are valid.”

Experience:
Clients spend 5-10 minutes practicing how to validate someone else’s feelings, even in situations where they disagree. The therapist encourages them to focus on statements like, ‘I can see why you’d feel that way’ or ‘It makes sense that you’re upset.’

Observation:
Clients reflect on how they felt after practicing validation. Did acknowledging the other person’s feelings help them feel more empathetic and understanding?

Discussion:
After the activity, the therapist asks: “What did it feel like to practice validating someone else’s feelings? Did this practice help you feel more connected and compassionate?”

Reflection:
Reflect on how validation can help improve communication and relationships. In a group, the therapist might ask: “How could practicing validation help you create a more supportive environment in your relationships?”

Activity 4: Being Easy-going During Disagreements

Intro to activity:
This activity helps clients practice staying easy-going during disagreements by keeping a calm and relaxed attitude, rather than becoming defensive or confrontational.

How to practice this activity:

Prompt:
“We’re going to focus on being easy-going during disagreements. The goal is to maintain a calm, open attitude even when you don’t agree with someone.”

Preparation:
The therapist asks clients to think about a recent disagreement where they became defensive or confrontational. Clients are encouraged to reflect on how staying easy-going could have helped them manage the situation better.

Guidance:
Therapist says: “Think about a disagreement where you became defensive. Now, practice how you could have remained easy-going by keeping a calm, open attitude. Focus on staying relaxed, being open to different perspectives, and letting go of the need to ‘win’ the argument. Being easy-going helps prevent conflicts from escalating.”

Experience:
Clients spend 5-10 minutes practicing how to stay easy-going during a disagreement. The therapist encourages them to focus on maintaining a calm tone of voice, open body language, and a willingness to compromise.

Observation:
Clients reflect on how they felt after practicing being easy-going during a disagreement. Did staying calm and open help them feel more in control of their emotions?

Discussion:
After the activity, the therapist asks: “What did it feel like to practice staying easy-going during a disagreement? Did this practice help you feel less defensive and more flexible?”

Reflection:
Reflect on how being easy-going can help you manage conflicts more effectively. In a group, the therapist might ask: “How could practicing this skill help you handle disagreements with more calm and respect?”

Activity 5: Combining Gentle and Assertive Communication

Intro to activity:
This activity helps clients practice balancing gentle communication with assertiveness, ensuring that their needs are met while maintaining kindness and respect in their interactions.

How to practice this activity:

Prompt:
“We’re going to focus on combining gentle and assertive communication. The goal is to express your needs clearly and respectfully while staying kind and calm.”

Preparation:
The therapist asks clients to think about a time when they needed to be assertive but struggled to maintain a gentle, respectful tone. Clients are encouraged to reflect on how they could balance being firm with being kind.

Guidance:
Therapist says: “Think about a situation where you needed to be assertive, but it was hard to stay gentle and kind. Now, practice combining gentle and assertive communication. First, express your needs clearly and confidently. Then, focus on staying calm and respectful, using gentle language and avoiding harsh tones or accusations. This balance helps you get your needs met while maintaining positive relationships.”

Experience:
Clients spend 5-10 minutes practicing how to balance gentle and assertive communication in a conversation. The therapist encourages them to be clear and direct while also maintaining kindness and respect.

Observation:
Clients reflect on how they felt after practicing gentle assertiveness. Did balancing these two aspects help them feel more confident and in control?

Discussion:
After the activity, the therapist asks: “What did it feel like to combine gentle and assertive communication? Did this practice help you feel more effective in expressing your needs?”

Reflection:
Reflect on how balancing gentle and assertive communication can improve your relationships. In a group, the therapist might ask: “How could practicing this skill help you express yourself more clearly while staying kind and respectful?”

Activity 6: Responding to Criticism Gently

Intro to activity:
This activity helps clients practice responding to criticism in a gentle and non-defensive way, maintaining respect and calmness even when they feel hurt or upset.

How to practice this activity:

Prompt:
“We’re going to focus on responding to criticism gently. The goal is to stay calm and respectful while expressing your feelings without becoming defensive.”

Preparation:
The therapist asks clients to think about a time when they received criticism and became defensive or upset. Clients are encouraged to reflect on how a gentle response could have changed the outcome.

Guidance:
Therapist says: “Think about a time when someone criticized you, and you felt defensive. Now, practice how you could respond more gently. Focus on staying calm, using a soft tone, and expressing your feelings without attacking the other person. Acknowledge the criticism and respond in a way that keeps the conversation respectful and constructive.”

Experience:
Clients spend 5-10 minutes rehearsing how to respond to criticism gently. The therapist encourages them to focus on staying calm and respectful while expressing their emotions and point of view.

Observation:
Clients reflect on how they felt after practicing a gentle response to criticism. Did focusing on a gentle approach help them feel more in control and less reactive?

Discussion:
After the activity, the therapist asks: “What did it feel like to respond to criticism gently? Did this practice help you feel more comfortable managing difficult feedback?”

Reflection:
Reflect on how responding to criticism gently can help you manage conflict and stay respectful. In a group, the therapist might ask: “How could practicing this skill help you stay calm and avoid defensiveness during challenging conversations?”

Activity 7: Practicing Genuine Interest in Difficult Conversations

Intro to activity:
This activity helps clients practice staying genuinely interested during difficult or uncomfortable conversations, showing empathy even when the discussion is challenging.

How to practice this activity:

Prompt:
“We’re going to focus on practicing genuine interest during difficult conversations. The goal is to stay engaged and curious, even when the conversation feels uncomfortable or challenging.”

Preparation:
The therapist asks clients to think about a difficult conversation where they felt disengaged or wanted to avoid the discussion. Clients are encouraged to reflect on how showing genuine interest might have improved the conversation.

Guidance:
Therapist says: “Think about a conversation that felt difficult or uncomfortable for you. Now, practice how you could have stayed genuinely interested, even when the discussion was challenging. Focus on listening carefully, asking questions, and showing empathy for the other person’s point of view. Staying engaged and curious can help diffuse tension and improve communication.”

Experience:
Clients spend 5-10 minutes practicing how to stay genuinely interested during a difficult conversation. The therapist encourages them to focus on active listening and empathy, even when they don’t agree with the other person.

Observation:
Clients reflect on how they felt after practicing genuine interest in a difficult conversation. Did staying engaged and curious help them feel more connected to the other person?

Discussion:
After the activity, the therapist asks: “What did it feel like to show genuine interest during a difficult conversation? Did this practice help you stay more present and empathetic?”

Reflection:
Reflect on how staying interested can improve difficult conversations. In a group, the therapist might ask: “How could practicing this skill help you manage challenging discussions more effectively?”

Activity 8: Validating Emotions in Conflict

Intro to activity:
This activity helps clients practice validating the emotions of others during a conflict. By acknowledging the other person’s feelings, clients can reduce defensiveness and create a more open space for resolution.

How to practice this activity:

Prompt:
“We’re going to focus on validating emotions during conflict. The goal is to acknowledge the other person’s feelings, even when you’re upset or disagreeing with them.”

Preparation:
The therapist asks clients to think about a time when they were in conflict with someone and didn’t validate the other person’s emotions. Clients are encouraged to reflect on how validation might have helped de-escalate the situation.

Guidance:
Therapist says: “Think about a conflict where you didn’t validate the other person’s emotions. Now, practice how you could have acknowledged their feelings by saying things like, ‘I understand why you’re upset’ or ‘It makes sense that you’d feel this way.’ Validation doesn’t mean agreeing with them; it means showing that their emotions are valid and understandable.”

Experience:
Clients spend 5-10 minutes practicing how to validate the other person’s emotions during a conflict. The therapist encourages them to focus on empathy and understanding, even if they don’t agree with the other person’s point of view.

Observation:
Clients reflect on how they felt after practicing validation during a conflict. Did acknowledging the other person’s feelings help them feel less defensive and more open to resolution?

Discussion:
After the activity, the therapist asks: “What did it feel like to validate someone else’s emotions during a conflict? Did this practice help you feel more compassionate and less reactive?”

Reflection:
Reflect on how validating emotions during conflict can help de-escalate tensions. In a group, the therapist might ask: “How could practicing this skill help you resolve conflicts more calmly and empathetically?”

Activity 9: Staying Easy-going Under Stress

Intro to activity:
This activity helps clients practice staying easy-going and flexible during stressful situations, focusing on keeping calm and avoiding overreacting when tensions rise.

How to practice this activity:

Prompt:
“We’re going to focus on staying easy-going under stress. The goal is to maintain a calm and relaxed attitude when faced with stressful or frustrating situations.”

Preparation:
The therapist asks clients to think about a recent stressful situation where they became tense or frustrated. Clients are encouraged to reflect on how staying more easy-going could have helped them manage the stress.

Guidance:
Therapist says: “Think about a situation where you felt stressed or frustrated. Now, practice how you could have stayed more easy-going by staying calm, breathing deeply, and reminding yourself not to take things too seriously. Staying easy-going helps you manage stress without letting it overwhelm you.”

Experience:
Clients spend 5-10 minutes practicing how to stay easy-going during a stressful situation. The therapist encourages them to focus on maintaining a calm mindset and using relaxation techniques like deep breathing.

Observation:
Clients reflect on how they felt after practicing staying easy-going under stress. Did focusing on staying calm help them feel more in control of their emotions?

Discussion:
After the activity, the therapist asks: “What did it feel like to practice staying easy-going during a stressful situation? Did this practice help you manage your stress more effectively?”

Reflection:
Reflect on how staying easy-going can help you cope with stress. In a group, the therapist might ask: “How could practicing this skill help you stay calm and flexible during future stressful situations?”

Activity 10: Using GIVE in Apologies

Intro to activity:
This activity helps clients practice using the GIVE skill when making apologies, focusing on being gentle, interested, validating, and easy-going to repair relationships after a conflict.

How to practice this activity:

Prompt:
“We’re going to focus on using the GIVE skill when making apologies. The goal is to be gentle, show interest, validate the other person’s feelings, and stay easy-going while offering a sincere apology.”

Preparation:
The therapist asks clients to think about a time when they needed to apologize but found it difficult or uncomfortable. Clients are encouraged to reflect on how using the GIVE skill could have made the apology more effective.

Guidance:
Therapist says: “Think about a time when you needed to apologize. Now, practice using GIVE to offer a sincere apology. Be gentle and kind in your words, show interest in the other person’s feelings, validate their emotions, and stay calm and easy-going throughout the conversation. A well-delivered apology can help repair relationships and rebuild trust.”

Experience:
Clients spend 5-10 minutes practicing how to apologize using the GIVE skill. The therapist encourages them to focus on maintaining respect and empathy while offering the apology.

Observation:
Clients reflect on how they felt after practicing an apology with the GIVE skill. Did focusing on kindness and validation help them feel more confident in their apology?

Discussion:
After the activity, the therapist asks: “What did it feel like to offer an apology using GIVE? Did this practice help you feel more comfortable and effective in repairing the relationship?”

Reflection:
Reflect on how using GIVE can help you offer sincere and effective apologies. In a group, the therapist might ask: “How could practicing this skill help you repair relationships after conflicts?”

Activity 11: Showing Empathy in Conversations

Intro to activity:
This activity helps clients practice showing empathy during conversations, particularly when others are sharing their problems or concerns. By being attentive and understanding, clients can foster stronger connections.

How to practice this activity:

Prompt:
“We’re going to focus on showing empathy in conversations. The goal is to truly listen and show understanding when others share their feelings or concerns.”

Preparation:
The therapist asks clients to think about a conversation where someone shared their problems, but they struggled to respond with empathy. Clients are encouraged to reflect on how they could have shown more understanding.

Guidance:
Therapist says: “Think about a time when someone shared their problems with you, but you didn’t respond as empathetically as you could have. Now, practice how you could show more empathy by listening carefully, nodding, and using phrases like, ‘That sounds really hard’ or ‘I’m sorry you’re going through that.’ Empathy helps others feel heard and supported.”

Experience:
Clients spend 5-10 minutes practicing empathy during a conversation. The therapist encourages them to focus on listening without interrupting, responding with understanding, and showing non-verbal empathy through facial expressions and body language.

Observation:
Clients reflect on how they felt after practicing showing empathy. Did focusing on understanding the other person’s feelings help them feel more connected?

Discussion:
After the activity, the therapist asks: “What did it feel like to show empathy during a conversation? Did this practice help you feel more compassionate and engaged?”

Reflection:
Reflect on how showing empathy can improve your relationships. In a group, the therapist might ask: “How could practicing this skill help you become a better listener and support others more effectively?”

Activity 12: Practicing Active Listening with GIVE

Intro to activity:
This activity helps clients practice active listening, an essential component of the GIVE skill. Active listening involves fully focusing on what the other person is saying, without distractions or interruptions.

How to practice this activity:

Prompt:
“We’re going to focus on practicing active listening. The goal is to fully engage in the conversation and show the other person that you’re listening and interested.”

Preparation:
The therapist asks clients to think about a recent conversation where they were distracted or only half-listening. Clients are encouraged to reflect on how active listening could have improved the interaction.

Guidance:
Therapist says: “Think about a conversation where you weren’t fully engaged in listening. Now, practice how you could use active listening by maintaining eye contact, nodding, and repeating back what the other person says to show you understand. Active listening helps the other person feel valued and respected.”

Experience:
Clients spend 5-10 minutes practicing active listening during a conversation. The therapist encourages them to avoid distractions, focus on the speaker, and respond thoughtfully to show they’re fully engaged.

Observation:
Clients reflect on how they felt after practicing active listening. Did fully engaging in the conversation help them feel more connected and attentive?

Discussion:
After the activity, the therapist asks: “What did it feel like to practice active listening? Did this practice help you feel more focused and connected to the other person?”

Reflection:
Reflect on how active listening can improve your communication. In a group, the therapist might ask: “How could practicing active listening help you build stronger and more respectful relationships?”

Activity 13: Maintaining Emotional Balance with GIVE

Intro to activity:
This activity helps clients practice maintaining emotional balance while using the GIVE skill, focusing on staying calm and composed during emotionally charged conversations.

How to practice this activity:

Prompt:
“We’re going to focus on maintaining emotional balance during conversations. The goal is to stay calm and composed, even when emotions are running high.”

Preparation:
The therapist asks clients to think about a time when they felt emotionally overwhelmed during a conversation. Clients are encouraged to reflect on how they might have maintained more emotional balance.

Guidance:
Therapist says: “Think about a conversation where you felt emotionally overwhelmed. Now, practice how you could have maintained emotional balance by taking deep breaths, slowing down your speech, and staying focused on listening to the other person. Staying balanced helps you remain calm and engaged, even in challenging conversations.”

Experience:
Clients spend 5-10 minutes practicing emotional balance during a conversation. The therapist encourages them to focus on staying calm, breathing deeply, and maintaining a relaxed posture and tone of voice.

Observation:
Clients reflect on how they felt after practicing emotional balance. Did focusing on staying calm help them feel more in control and less reactive?

Discussion:
After the activity, the therapist asks: “What did it feel like to maintain emotional balance during the conversation? Did this practice help you feel more composed and centered?”

Reflection:
Reflect on how maintaining emotional balance can help you stay calm and focused in difficult conversations. In a group, the therapist might ask: “How could practicing this skill help you manage your emotions more effectively during stressful situations?”

Activity 14: Offering Encouragement with GIVE

Intro to activity:
This activity helps clients practice offering encouragement to others, a key part of the GIVE skill. By providing positive support, clients can help strengthen their relationships and boost others’ confidence.

How to practice this activity:

Prompt:
“We’re going to focus on offering encouragement. The goal is to support others by providing positive, kind words that help them feel more confident and appreciated.”

Preparation:
The therapist asks clients to think about a time when someone they cared about was struggling, but they didn’t offer much encouragement. Clients are encouraged to reflect on how encouragement could have helped the other person feel supported.

Guidance:
Therapist says: “Think about a time when someone needed encouragement, but you didn’t provide it. Now, practice how you could have offered words of support by saying things like, ‘I believe in you,’ or ‘You’re doing a great job.’ Encouragement helps build others up and shows that you care.”

Experience:
Clients spend 5-10 minutes practicing how to offer encouragement during a conversation. The therapist encourages them to focus on using kind, supportive language that boosts the other person’s confidence.

Observation:
Clients reflect on how they felt after practicing offering encouragement. Did focusing on encouragement help them feel more positive and connected?

Discussion:
After the activity, the therapist asks: “What did it feel like to offer encouragement? Did this practice help you feel more supportive and kind?”

Reflection:
Reflect on how offering encouragement can strengthen your relationships. In a group, the therapist might ask: “How could practicing this skill help you support others and build more positive connections?”

Activity 15: Using GIVE in Everyday Interactions

Intro to activity:
This activity helps clients practice using the GIVE skill in everyday interactions, focusing on how to be gentle, interested, validating, and easy-going in daily conversations.

How to practice this activity:

Prompt:
“We’re going to focus on using the GIVE skill in everyday interactions. The goal is to practice being gentle, interested, validating, and easy-going in your daily conversations.”

Preparation:
The therapist asks clients to think about their daily interactions with friends, family, or colleagues. Clients are encouraged to reflect on how they can incorporate the GIVE skill into their everyday communication.

Guidance:
Therapist says: “Think about your daily interactions with others. Now, practice using the GIVE skill by being gentle in your tone, showing genuine interest in what others are saying, validating their feelings, and staying easy-going and relaxed. Applying GIVE in your everyday conversations can help you strengthen your relationships and make your interactions more positive.”

Experience:
Clients spend 5-10 minutes practicing how to use GIVE in a typical conversation. The therapist encourages them to focus on maintaining kindness, empathy, and a calm attitude in their communication.

Observation:
Clients reflect on how they felt after practicing GIVE in everyday interactions. Did using GIVE help them feel more connected and positive in their conversations?

Discussion:
After the activity, the therapist asks: “What did it feel like to use GIVE in your everyday conversations? Did this practice help you improve your interactions and relationships?”

Reflection:
Reflect on how using GIVE in everyday interactions can help you build stronger relationships. In a group, the therapist might ask: “How could practicing this skill help you improve your daily communication and make your interactions more positive and fulfilling?”